family

I’m so tired of hearing your voice

You at your worst, but I have no choice

I’m so tired of hearing you fight

When I know you’re so wrong and that this isn’t right

I thought that growing up meant you would be moving on

But when I look at you, I know that’s not even close to true

You’re just a child in a grown man’s clothes

You’re just a parent, someone who I never would have choose

I’ll never know what it feels to be safe

Locked in the arms of a warm embrace

I’ll never know what love truly is

When all I see is dysfunction and everything remiss

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Insomnia

Seconds tick on an anonymous clock

Beckoning as the window panes sway and rock

The night is silent and the sky is dark

Without light, the world seems still and painfully stark

No movement is heard or seen or felt

Here I lay counting the seconds until I melt

Into oblivion, into a dream, into another world, all beyond compare

It seems that being awake is the true nightmare

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New day

What are you doing now…

except… letting your heart shut down

What are you so afraid of…

that you just might… learn to love

Open your heart and see

everything that you wish you could be

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I’ve realized that I am the one keeping myself down, from achieving, from being. I promise from now on to learn to love myself, so that I may be open to receiving love from others. Loving myself means no self-sabotage, no self-loathing, and taking care of my body. I hope by doing so, I can live my life instead of letting life happen to me.

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